Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
