Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
