I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize