is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
