I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
