First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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