STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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