My liver just broke up with me...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i now understand why vodka
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize