its not stalking. its research.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
