The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
