Umm I'm too high to move.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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