why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize