So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
