UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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