I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
