Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
