what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
