i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
