Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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