I wish my penis had an off switch
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
