Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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