last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
