hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
