It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
