Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
