his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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