I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
