haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Acid is not a monday night drug
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
