Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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