He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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