hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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