you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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