Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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