I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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