You're my little dorito
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
