Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
