I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
