i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
