We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
