How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
