Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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