fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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