its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
