Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
