i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
