If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
