Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
