Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
