the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
