Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
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