and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
