no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize