Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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