i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
