turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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