similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
