you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
