this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
