everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
