I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
