she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
