It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
