this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
