sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
