we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
